this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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