dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
