What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
