sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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