My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
