I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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