Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
