I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
