I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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