my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
