hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
