Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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