So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
