i need an iv and a liver transplant
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
