i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
