True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
