Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
