D3 body, D1 cock
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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