I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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