I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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