I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I need to calm my uterus...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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