it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
