is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
