he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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