that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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