i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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