STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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