There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
