And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
