i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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