i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
