I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
