Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
