she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize