Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
