That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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