What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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