It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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