Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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