U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
