She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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