Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
