just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Come on in and take your pants off
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