don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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