I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sorry about my life...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
