I am puke
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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