there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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