i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
As shirtless as possible
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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