Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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