Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
