he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
