It's just like the Real World with babies
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
