So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
