I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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