to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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