Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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