you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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