Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
