My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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